Thankfully deaded

A recent breakup illuminated the extent to which I can ignore the world around me for one person. I never considered this a fault of mine until now. When everyone that has been w me through some of my life's most charachter-forming experiences tell me to abandon ship...repeatedly...i now know better than to fully lean on my own view of the situation. My heart was broken not once but twice by someone I deemed worthy of its possesion. It brought about a true learning experience of self.  I could never regret what became a year of my life because of the end result but there are many lessons bestowed upon me that I blatantly ignored that have all come full-circle in light of that time. Never give away your heart haphazardly - it only makes reclaiming it harder.

So why DethNotes?

I'm sure anyone that knows me personally would be slightly puzzled by this choice. Of all the things i'm known to be, macabre is not high on that list which leads to my post title - why DethNotes? In all honesty, many reasons: for one, the idea of death fills me with self-assurance. Although it is an end to my physical being, as a musician I also fancy myself an artist of sorts, and it's been seen time and time again with many artists of a geeat varying nature that death can do wonders for one's appreciation of self and the appreciation of those who have come in contact with you, whether it be a passing pleasantry in a busy street or years spent w the deceased. Even those that have never known you personally seem to find you or your work more intriguing if they see the opportunity for such things beyond their reach. Beyond self-gratification from the prospect of one's post-mortem self-importance, death is also an ending. It's the big finale, the final trick, the last chapter. In that, I find incredible solace. To know that regardless of however bleak and repetitious the future may look, that there is a time limit only invigorates me and also clears my mind of any temorary issues. In the end, none of them will matter. I cannot keep that which i've gained, but knowing that I will end continuosly inspires me to begin in others tirelessly - to give life, love, and laughter. I don't plan to be remembered for how much I had or didn't have - I live to be known for how much I gave. Death, just like life, can be terrifyingly daunting to some and relished by others. I choose to be on the latter portion of that spectrum. Death can be cruel, unexpected, ill-timed, and absolutely crushing due to its sheer conceptual magnitude. I choose these attributes: cruel to perpetual joylessness, unexpectedly poignant, ill-timed in many ways, and overflowing with crushing, undeniable love, heart, and soul. I am death, and so are you.